Wow man im so fucking sick of feeling like this its not fair to myself when i know i can be treated how i want to be treated, an even more so im sick of the fucked up shit being said when its his fault for those things in the fucking first place.. What a fucking dick!!!! I cant belive the fucking ignorance that flows from this little boys brain, the logic this mother fucker has, blows every fucking thing out of poportion, i tell him how im fucking feeling, i talk to the blank minded fucking jerk an still nothing no what.i get in return for telling him how i feel, how its too much, how i have to high of expectationse of people, this is fucking stupid. Ive never felt more pointless in my fucking life, i hate this now more then fucking ever, i hate how i have no one to fucking talk to, the only person just wants to sit an tell me my way of thinking is crazy or wrong whatever but baisically the point of his argument is me being outrageous for how i am, no for who i am. I dont even know what to do anymore im sick of all this bullshit, im sick of fucking giving it my all, trying to let go of my “self pitty” and doing shit to make this ungratefull asshole fucking happy but of course he doesnt care, i hate hate hate everything in life right now, i hste how im always fucking sad i hate how everyday something adds up, something more harsh then the night before is said, its like a never ending pile of fuckery building into the biggest fuckup I’ve ever made!!:( this is so fucked up, beyond repair. I hate my fucking existence, i hate life and everything that has to do with it. Im fucking done with it all. I want to be gone im sick of this society im sick of bei.g fucked over and im soooooo fucking sick and tierd of depending on a mother fucking plant for happieness when even that doesnt make me feel better anymore, its like all the pain, anger and frustration just simmers down, its still there its just like im high so i dont care to ackmowledge it, and just go about with boring casual conversation and not cause a fight everyday im trying not to cause a fight no its more like every fucking day im trying not to let my emotions surface, its like everyday im trying not to tell this dick every single thing hes doing wrong, its like everyday im working my hardest to just feel happy with the way things are but i cant!!! I just so fucking done… This shit is pathetic. I lost everything because i believed some guy who told me he loved me, and how stupid am i, because ive been told this lie so many times before fucked up thing is, i was in love already so i just had to go, couldnt let go, couldnt say no, im too easy, im too stupid. I hate myself for being such a slut. I fucked this asshole on the first night how stupid can i be to honestly think a man would respect me when i gave him the only thing they look forward to the first night he met me!!:( ughhhh, im such a stupid easy little whore and i fucking hate how sexuall i am, i hate how i always want to do shit like that, but i hate even more how often im told no, how its only cool if hes the one saying or doing sexual things i hate how im insecure ofy sex skills because he tells me that im not that good, like who does that,??? Fuck i mean its not like hes a sex god either, especially with how fast its over, like oh your done already daymn… Wish i had those nice long 3hour sexytimes again, fuck i was an idiot!!!!!!!! But now im just dammed to my own selfdestruction. This fucking sucks and im really pissed the fuck off at evetything in my life at the moment….