Summer Rainbow

I am my god

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Just listening to some

2Pac snoop dogg warren g nate dog ahh my little Aurora will be too bad ass she loves this music gets to kicking like crazy I think she might be doing a crip walk in there or something its awesome she said “ain’t nuthin butah gangstaah partyy” (little baby voice) ahaha I can’t wait im 10 days away from my due date a any day now little baby just waiting on her to make an appearance

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I find it funny

How so many people gave me shit&judged me for following my heart leaving with my love. How i see it there was a fork in the road. A new path given to the one i was taking. Comming from fucking school up i was addicted to a horrible poison not just drug but i was addicted to self hate self pitty and pain I was dieing for away out. Begging my universe to give me a new option to fix my wrongs an heal my inner self my soul needed saving that only i could do. But in order to have seen that I needed someone who I would believe when they showed me this. An so the universe handed me this amazing guy who would soon turn into a man right before my eyes he showed me how i treated myself so horribly how Iddidn’t love myself an until I did he would show me all the reasons to love me an all the reasons I needed healing. Still I am not fullythere we both have flaws I teach him he is worth more then he tells himself an he teaches me all the rreasons why I deserve this new life this new found love for myself. He’s a Buddhist and I love that he tries to be more peaceful everyday and me well im just someone who believes in a grand spirit an it lives within everyone of us it flows through the wind water it is mother earth an nothing is more precious then life itself I know now that we are our creators our lives can be what we make them our minds are the most powerful entity we poses. I made bad decisions and in result I had bad things happening to me that at the time I didn’t understand an now I see why I deserved every bit of that pain because I brought it onto myself. I am as powerful as I believe an as I want to be. At that time i was so powerless to my inhibition an for some reason when I asked the universe for a way out I got my Chris he came into my life like a meteor he burns so bright with love an happiness for everything and everyone he has been through the hardest life I’ve ever herd an yet it has not got him down I think so highly of my husband because of this he hasn’t ever let any of it get him down sure he has had his hardship an he waa troubled as child but he’s stood above it all. Now becoming a dad he’s changing so much and im falling in deeper love then I ever thought I feel something with him ive never felt with anyone in my life before him. But yet this is so familiar because we’ve fallen intothis ao fast asince we met that summer night back in 2012 at a 711 we’ve been inseparable laying on my trampoline staring at the stars drinking all the codeine we could talking until we fell asleep falling in love faster then we could ever imagine I now believe in something so grand because of this feeling I thought id never get still i feel like teenagers. When others see us they know we have real love an we arw not the type to be all over each other its just in how we communicate how he looks at me an how i smile at him the world around us has become ao beautiful my grandfather warned me of something like this when i was just a child he told meid find ssomeone that would make me feel like i was flying all the time make me feel crazy and so in love that when he was gone id be lost for all eternity. He was right he said it was a soul mate he had his my grandma Caballero he loved her more then he loved himself an he told me when the man walked into my life to teach me what real love was an healed all the broken hearts before him I’d know he was mine id know he was my soul mate an he is my dad an mom can see how dedicated he is to me my dad says he doesn’t see it often in young couples but he can see the love that emits from our coexistence an that’s beautiful that he respects the man I love that he sees bits an pieces of himself an he sees partsof my ggrandfather which some girls wouldn’t understand an say is weird but the first men in your life you fall in love with its innocent an its a child like love ofssecurity and happiness but then there’s Chris his individual ways he is strong heartedand wise rto what he should an shouldn’t do he can see life for what it is an he is no fool his only flaw is beingso nice that the world around him takes advantage take this for a weakness an even doesn’t understand it an pushes it away he’s the most beautiful soul I’ve ever had in my life. I said I wanted to have his babies an thatis so true its been since the mmoment I said it. I knew he’d stay strong an stick with me because he wantes me to give himhis cchildren he wants to give me an our child everything he can an I am so grateful for all this love we have. I want him to be the very first person to hold this little life he’s helped me create because I was blessed with the opportunity to carry her for 9months I feel her movement an her life becoming reality more an more every day I am so lucky to have the opportunity to create life within me it has shown me just how beautiful I can be just how amazingly powerful I am to make a being to have created this tiny life that we will raise to be so beautiful an strong I feel her kicks an I look at my husband so grateful because he gave me what I needed for her to be possible. She’s a love child she’s the one that we let the universe hand us we did nothing but give each other all the love in the world and because of that she’s going to be something our lives have never seen she’s going to blow us away every day of her life. An I am so excited to see my love become an amazing dad he’s so tender hearted he’s so happy an so sweetto me. II’ve never felt so beautiful then now he’s always kissing me an just showing me how grateful he is with everything he does in life this man has 3 jobs works day in day out to provide for our family to ensure that our daughter will have this wonderful home to come to. He’s already such a great daddy im so happy that I left to California with him that day looking into his beautiful blue eyes an feeling so safe it has never ended looking to him for reassurance that life would be okay we have been through tough times together and i know that its not the end of them I am aware that life has ita ups an downs but with this amazing man by my side I know life will never be unbearable I know we will always have a place to lay our heads under a roof and have food in our bellies. I love thelife we have I llove everything about this world we have created. And i see just how important life has become to him how important I am to him an how determined he ia to give our daughter more then we had as children. I guess I needed someone who had been through equivalent or morw to me in life to respect an love them deeply because we connected on another level of some kind we both have felt utter disappointment an have felt so let down an hurt we both seen addictions an how they destroyed families the difference is I seen it all mend I was blessed with a happy ending my parents got back together by some amazing miraclethey got bback together when we all thought it’d never happen again. But him well he didn’t ever get that feeling back he still misses his family but the great thing is he is so accepting of me wanting to give him a new family it will never replace the family he grew up with an was separated from but he is still open to being apart of my dramatic crazy ass family its all dysfunctional an it surprises me he already loves them hes met them all an he’s seen the worst but he loves them an I can see they love him too. Im so happy to give him this child im so happy im having this baby I would never be a smart good loving selfless powerful women without going through this and at 22 im so happy an proud of our life together<333 my baby is going to be the coolestchick in aschool an rhe sweetest life to walk past anyone she’s going to brighten everyone who comes within her path life because she has me an her wonderful family around her to teach her how to love purely an how to just simply live life as freely as she pleases. My child will be a tiny little hippie like Tapenga from boy meets world only betterbbecause she’s ours to raise and im so excited to see this beautiful soul to meet who i’ve carried within for so long im so curious to who she is to who this little child will resemble. I can’t wait to see those tears of joy roll down my husband’s face when he sees her dor the first time an then see that same smile when she walks an receives that diploma or when she gets married I can’t wait to be a part of this new little souls life I see her in my dreams every night since she’s started to develop an I’m so excited to see if she will look the way i dream her to be or if it’s not even close to how beautiful she truly is <333

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my siblings are straight dog shit

Its getting to be so fucking ridiculous how everyone wants to be with me. I understand that if im in the wrong im in the wrong an i can admit that but my God how fucking full of yourselves do you have to be to not be able to admit im so sick of the fucking bullshit first off i lwt your lazy ass sleep in my home whenever you please run around an party smoke on my mans weed you throw down the most minuscule amount don’t say shit when momsgiving you money for food an your either buying fast food or drugs with it not giving a shit steadily you an your friends come into my home leave fucking messes an when i point it out you act as if nothing happened or it wasn’t you. But yet your so fucking grown you take care of yourself if that’s so then why in the fuck do my parents constantly have to send your spoiled rotten ass money mom an dad never fucking have to send me money and if they do i pay them back always have bitch wants to say she takes care of her fucking self HA!!!! No bitch your on your own with your parents an others taking care of your fucking ass. You live at my home for free surf around on your friends couches while your mommy an daddy fund you they pay for your food your clothes your school your fucking pills your weed your everything my parents NEVER paid for my fucking drugs an they haven’t paid for my clothes since i was 17 years old i do my own thing an i haven’t had to relay on mommy an daddy since ive turned 20 years old don’t fucking tell me how you take care of yourself you stupid rotten spoiled little collage cunt you look down upon others on a high horse thinking your oh so fucking magnificent when reality is you are no better then the dirt you fucking walk on you spoiled little bitch throw shit in my fucking face an act a little brat yeah sometimes i need help finding a fucking ride but other then that i take care of my own and even then i can have 5$ left to my name but ill give it up for gas money unlike you who finds ways around an fucking lies or says you’ll give gas an then don’t an its not my fault when people refuse my money im not going to force it because i don’t have much to give anyways. This is such bullshit im so sick of this little bitch thinking I’ve been sitting here talking shit like I’ve got nothing better to do then coming at me with the utmost disrespectan saying just out of the line bbullshit when all ive been doing is worrying about you an worrying that the way your acting is off because your fucked up ass decided to stop taking your fucking meds tell me im believing what others have said when your the one not coming straight to the sorce to find out whats going on your the one that if you wouldn’t have screamed an yelled at those very parents that gave you 100$ for your birthday turned around an bought you a car after you disrespected them got all prissy an pissed off because they didn’t give you more money you fucking self righteous little rotten cunt i hope you know the feeling of having absolutely nothing i hope the world knocks your ass so fucking far down thatrreality truly sets the fuck in you are nothing more then scum on this fucking earth you ungrateful little piece of shit. I once walked in that same self righteous path o sweetie i know how it is to THINK i was on my own an took care of myself when mommy an daddy still payed the fucking bills you stupid little child you have no fucking clue to how good life is for you an you have no idea how fucking hard life can be tell me when your up worrying all night because you DONT have a home or up all night because you have no idea when or if the bills will be paid tell me when your sleeping on the god damned beach floor because nobody is there for you. I blame nobody but myself i take responsibility for all my actions i do the best i can with what i have in life and you. You are a fucking disgrace to my mother you are a fucking SHAME to the caballero name you have no idea what it means to carry the burden of life you are so fucking free an so fucking sheltered you will never fucking realise unless you fall flat on your fucking face you are nothing but an egotistical piece of spoiled rotten dog shit just like your fucking brother. Stealing oh so proudly bragging about it laughing at your parents paying for your fucking bad habitsyou self rrighteous little bitch. FUCK YEAH I TOLD EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE FUCK YEAH ILL BE THE SNITCH THIS TIME because i am absolutely sick of being walked on i am absolutely done with trying to be good to you an getting nothing but disrespect slapped in my fucking face you rotten little fucking cunt bitch. Ive done nothing to you. Even as kids always stuck up for you always tried my best to gwt along with you but you you must be jealous for what i have no idea or maybe you hate me maybe you just don’t like me i have no fucking idea what it is but i never tried to go ou t of my way to hurt you but you go out of your way to hurt me you spiteful little bitch an now mom an dad see the error of your ways mom an dad are no longer fools to your pitiful game you fucking play. You use your friends you use your family an you have no self respect. Yes i made mistakes yeah i fucked up in school be cause i would have rather been high on meth but i don’t deny it an im not proud of it but atleast im not sitting here living in the fucking past stuck in some depression because of my mistake no i stand tall an proud that i walked away when i did that i made a change an ive become so much of a better person i don’t lie to ANY FUCKING ONE about my past i ddon’t feel shame im human. I make mistakes but you lie to people about the past all the time you hide things an you act like things never happened. I covered for you. I stood up for you i even took the fucking blame for you. You want yo say mean hateful things to me an all i do is shake me head an have nothing but patience with you but at this point i want nothing to do with you. My tolerance of you an my brother are done the only time ill put up with you pieces of shit are when your wanting to be a part of my daughter’s life i wount stand in between my daughter an her family my differences have nothing to do with her an the both of you. But if you think for a second i will leave her alone with either of you your fucking idiots i want no sort if influence from you two to my child’s life i want her to be humble like her father an mother i want her to understand the TRUE meaning of life an her to respect others an the choices they make not judge not be ungrateful an i want her to understand when something is given you respect it even if what is given isn’t fucking materialistic. I see so much of who i used to be in you little sister i see so many mistakes that ive made being made in ny siblings i was once so egotistical so self righteous so stupid i was once so fucking careless and ungrateful but i met a man who taught me the error of my ways who showed me what life was truly about who helped me realise the things my mom an dad tried teaching me all the years of my life an i can finally say tonight that i am humbled by life i am selfless i will give my all for my family i will suffer while my family prospers i don’t have to have expensive things hell i don’t have to get a birthday present from mom an dad of an outrageous cash amount to know that they love me an they care for me im expecting nothing but a phone call telling me they love me an thought of me in the morning i once was like you. An im so angry because you fought with me about that exact thing you told me i was a ungrateful bitch. When you were and are no better before you judge someone else look in the mother fucking mirror because that was obviously all self reflection now i sit here wondering an so full of anger towards these two thinking how could they treat our loving giving parents this way how can they talk to the woman who gave up meals just so we could eat like this how can they treat the man who wears his body down day in day out all for this almighty dollar for the material posetions they so desperately need the cars the clothes will all that matter when our dads fucking crippled when he can no longer walk straight back hunched over like fucking quasimodo because he had to endure hard fucking labor to pay for your fucking car insurances take care if your selves my fucking ass!!!!!! You don’t even have to pay your own fucking phone bill. This must have all fallen into perspective for me because i am now seeing through the eyes of a mother an not the eyes of a child any more I pray the universe shows you reality fast because my mom an dad don’t deserve this shit an i sure the fuck dont deserve this stupid shit. I can’t stand these ungrateful pieces of shit

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Its so crazy how much things change how people can become so distant in an instant. An how some can stay the very best for an infinite time. I’m so lucky to have these wonderful friends in my life, boys i never thought would become my best friends boys i used to laugh an joke about with my best friend Vanessa I know love with everything I’ve got. My Christopher I love him so much and his best friend Kevin well I love him just as a brother he’s so kind hearted and I’d never would have thought that these guys would ever become such a big part in my life. It amazes me that i spent so long wrapped up in a boy that knew this guy an I never once met him, at all the party’s i went to that he was there never once noticed this amazing guy. Makes me believe in soul mates so much more because I met him at the perfect moment the moment we needed each other the most and I am so grateful since him everything in life has fell into perspective. I was once so selfish now I’ll give everything I’ve got to make sure he has what he needs ill give everything to make sure my daughter has a life better then I did as a child ill give up my weekly sac so she can have the things she wants and needs an I can feel how different that is forne. I no longer think of what I want its all about what these two aamazing people I love unconditionally want and I love this feeling im so happy to have them. Im so happy to have my realffriends around and to have started my family making my family bigger its a beautiful feeling to know my mom and dad are proud of me to hear my mom say that i am a great mommy like she is an my baby hasn’t entered this world yet, but she is already such a huge part of my world with every kick and stretch even every pain in my pelvic bone I know she will be worth every single stretch mark on my body every single pound gained and ill never regret this little life I’ve started because ill look into her beautiful eyes and ill see the world. Having her is making me so much stronger then i ever thought I could possiblybe. I never in my life been able to quit ssmoking weed but i did because if i were to lose her id never come back from it. I never would forgive myself honestly id never stop hating myself even if i did get her back id still always feel so much guilt for not doing the right thing. I never thought id have all this

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maxamillionracism:

Let an innocent White-Teenage Boy get gunned down in the street by an officer, and tomorrow, we will have a “Skylars Law” where department pistols are replaced with orange Nerf-Guns…

who ever posted this shit is a fucking moron! Im so sick of these fucks thinking whites don’t get assaulted absolutely every race is being assaulted white, Mexicans Asians there is no biased when it comes to this government and it’s fuckery the thing is when a BLACK kid gets assaulted all the mother fuckers want to riot burn down a bunch of shit an act out of anger rather then handling it the proper way. But even then atleastssomething is being said NOTHING IS BEING SAID ABOUT MOST OF THE FUCKED UP SHIT THIS GOVERNMENT IS PULLING GET YOUR FUCKINGHEADS OUT OFYOUR ASSES AND OPEN YOUR FUFUCKING MINDS BEFORE YOUR MOUTHS AN REALISE ITS NOT JUST BLACKS ITS EVERY FUCKING ONE!!! The saddest shit is if these people wouldn’t constantly go about these things like a bunch of fucking ghetto ass hoodlums an took real legal actions rather then rioting in the streets you may fucking get some where. I know for a fact that it isn’t just blacks an it’s not biased against whites because I am white &mexican i have white family who has been assaulted an falsely accused by todays law enforcement its nothing but fuckery all around. I have been profiled because of the color of my skin as well. So stop your fucking shit. Its 2014 not 1950 okay an this shit isn’t just one race its all civilians. We need to become a fucking union and stand up for ALL RIGHTS OF ALL HUMANITY.

(via crustmermaid)

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My babys foot(: It&#8217;s my favorite picture out of the ultrasound pics because I just can&#8217;t wait to kiss&amp;nibble on her cute little feeties to see her smile&amp;hear her sweet little laughter

My babys foot(: It’s my favorite picture out of the ultrasound pics because I just can’t wait to kiss&nibble on her cute little feeties to see her smile&hear her sweet little laughter

0 notes

My babys foot(: It&#8217;s my favorite picture out of the ultrasound pics because I just can&#8217;t wait to kiss&amp;nibble on her cute little feeties to see her smile&amp;hear her sweet little laughter

My babys foot(: It’s my favorite picture out of the ultrasound pics because I just can’t wait to kiss&nibble on her cute little feeties to see her smile&hear her sweet little laughter